Alice
by Alunamai
Summary: Alice is pregnant by her boyfriend Jasper. She gives it up for adoption... but everything seems to go haywire. Could the Cullen family, really be vampires... all human except Esme Carlisle and Edward. Rated T. Based on Juno.
1. Backstory

I don't own the Twilight Saga that belongs to Stephenie Meyer

I don't own the Twilight Saga that belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Please mind this first "chapter" it's only a glimpse of what happened in the lives of Renee and Charlie to give them Alice and Bella…

All are human… except for Carlisle, Esme, and Edward

Alice

By: Alunamai

The Back story…

November 1986… Frat House Party, Lambda Lambda Lambda Frat House

"Has any one seen Charlie?" Dawn yelled over the music.

"NO!" Renee said. "Last I heard he went up to his room with that Grace girl."

"Some ones getting lucky tonight!" Billy said dancing down the stairs with a cup of beer in his hand.

"Don't you have a wife and a pair of twins to be taking care of?" Renee laughed.

"This is true, but I felt the need to party tonight." He laughed.

Renee made her way over to the stereo and turned on the song Shout.

"I LOVE THIS SONG!" Renee screamed. Everyone in the room started dancing like crazy.

x-x-x-x

Two Days Later

College Library

"Excuse me?" Charlie asked the brunette sitting behind the information desk.

"May I help you?" she turned around to face him.

"My, fancy seeing you here." Charlie said as if it were a shock to him. "Yes you may, Renee. Would you like to accompany me to my parents for Thanksgiving?"

"What makes you think that I don't have plans with my own family?" she laughed.

"Well, your mother is in southern California… and I really don't think your going to drive down there… since it's a three day drive." He said.

"You caught me." Renee laughed. "If I come with you to your parents, you must come with me to my parents at Christmas."

"Deal. I'll pick you up at your dorm at five am sharp Wednesday morning." And then he walked away.

x-x-x

January 11, 1987

"Well, Ms. Higginbotham, you are indeed pregnant. You are just over a month along." The doctor informed Renee.

"This is impossible… we only… just that one time…" she started.

"Your next visit is in a week for an ultra sound."

She then left the office and decided to find a pay phone to call Charlie. (this was the eighties people… cell phones weren't a huge accessory.)

"Hey, Charlie? It's Renee… ummm… can you meet me at Rita's Steak House in an Hour? Thanks." And then she hung up.

x-x-x

an hour later

They sat down at a table and looked over their menus.

"Renee, what ever it is you can tell me." Charlie said processing her face.

"Charlie, I'm pregnant." Renee said looking down at her plate.

"You too?" Charlie said looking at her.

"What do you mean me too?" She asked.

"Do you remember, that party we had at the Lambda house?"

"Yeah… how could I forget?" she said.

"That girl that I was with most of the night, I don't remember her at all, but she came to my dorm and told me she was pregnant. And that it was mine."

"What are you going to do?" Renee asked.

"Be a man and take care of my children." Charlie stated.

"What about…"

"I'm not in love with her Renee." Charlie said. "I'm in love with you."

x-x-x-x

a few weeks later

"Do you, Charles Swan, take Renee Higginbotham as your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"And do you, Renee Higginbotham, take Charles Swan to be your lawfully wedded husband?

"I do."

"By the powers invested in me and by the state of Nevada, I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

x-x-x

September 11

"Grace is here." Charlie yelled from the living room.

"Alright." Renee waddled into the room. "Hello Grace, and how are you?"

"Not good." She said. "Dr. Mortimer wants me in the hospital now."

"Is every thing okay with the baby?" Renee asked. Renee had decided that she would adopt Graces baby since Grace didn't want it at all.

"Something about late onset Toxemia."

x-x-x

36 hours later

"It's a girl!" Dr. Mortimer exclaimed as he came out of the delivery room. "But we lost Grace."

"Oh no." Renee said.

"We tried everything." The doctor explained. "Are you okay Mrs. Swan?"

"I think… I am."

"Renee, you just peed your pants."

"I think her water just broke."

x-x-x

Next day, September 13, after a 20 hour labor

"Isabella Marie Swan." Renee said looking at her beautiful daughter. "And this little one shall be Alice Cherie Swan."


	2. Unexpected

Chapter One: Unexpected

Chapter One: Unexpected

16 years later

Alice POV

"If you drink anymore Sunny D, you'll turn into…" Bella said as we walked to the local Seven Eleven.

"Bells, if you don't stop, I swear I'm going to beat you over the head with this damn bottle." I said as we entered the store and I grabbed a pregnancy test.

"Alice, I seriously think that your eggo is preggo."

"I'm not entirely convinced. I think the last one was defective. The plus sign looked more like a division sign."

"Ummm… okay." Bella said. "Mom and Dad are going to kill you."

"I know."

"And that may be before or after they kill Jasper."

"I know." I disappeared into the bathroom.

x-x-x

That night.

Roses pov

Rosalie Hales Room

Ring ring

"Yo, yo, yiggity, yo?" I said answering the phone.

"I am a suicide risk."

"Is this Alice?"

"No it's Morgan Freeman. Do you have any bones that need collecting?"

"Only the ones in my pants!" I said. Emmett, my boyfriend since like… sixth grade… took that as an initiative to start kissing me. "Emmett, that wasn't an invitation." I sat up on my bed.

"Your brother isn't in ear shot is he?" Alice asked.

"JASPER!" I yelled.

"Yeah." He popped in my room.

"Can you and Emmett go get me a burger. I didn't eat dinner."

"Yeah."

"Alright. They are out of the room."

"I'm pregnant." She answered in a low voice.

"Are you sure it's not a food baby? Did you eat a big lunch?" I asked.

"It's not a food baby. I took like three pregnancy tests today. I am definitely up the spout."

"How did you even generate enough pee for three pregnancy tests?"

"I drank ten tons of Sunny D. Yeah, anyways. I'm pregnant. And your acting shockingly cavalier."

"So what are you going to do?" I asked laying back on my bed.

"I'm going to call either Havenbrook or Woman Now."

"You need a note from your parents for Havenbrook." I said.

"Well, I'll call Woman Now."

"OH! You want me to call? I called for Jessica last year."

"No, I'll call." She said. "Hey you want to help Bells and I with something?"

x-x-x

Jasper POV

"Why does she want a burger at nine at night?" Emmett complained. "I seriously don't understand your sister."

"Trust me. I don't either half the time." I turned onto highway 101 and started back towards home. "I have to all the way to phuket thailand to get her a damn burger… and what not and what the hell!" I slammed on the break and nearly ended up in the accident ahead of us.

"Oh my god, what just happened?" Emmett was yelling.

"Quiet Emmett. God, shut your gob!"

"You hang around Rose too much." Emmett laughed getting out of the car.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to go find out if any one needs help."

"Why do I think this is not going to end well?" I asked aloud getting out and following him.

"Whoa! That is epic."

There was smoke everywhere and the flames were high. I hadn't even noticed all this until I stepped out of the car.

Another semi accident and to top it off, it was with three motorcyclists and a suv.

"Emmett, get over here." I yelled.

"Jazz, I think we should call Chief Swan!" Emmett said.

"You do that… I'll set up the flares." I ran to the trunk of the car and found the emergency kit that mom insisted that I have in the trunk of my car.

"Chief?" Emmett practically screamed. "Theres been a terrible accident, on the 101."

I got one of the flares going and placed that in the road. It was then that I saw a car coming toward us. I started waving my arms around to get it to stop.

"What happened?" came the concerned voice of a British man as the window rolled down.

"I'm not sure." I said. "We were just on our way back home… and we almost ended up in this." I gestured towards the mess in front of us.

He stepped out of the car and quickly made his way to the trunk of his car. He pulled out a black bag and headed in to the mess.

On the other side of the car a woman stepped out.

"Edward, go and help him." She said before shutting her door. "CARLISLE! BE CAREFUL!"

x-x-x

Back in Forks.

Bella POV

"So why are we doing this?" I asked.

"We are setting this up in front of Jaspers house." I said as Rose and I lifted the recliner.

"You know, this could really help you right now." Rose stated as we got closer to the van.

"That's sick." I laughed.

x-x-x

(back at the accident… some time later…)

Jasper POV

"… and I was like… How you doing?" Emmett was telling Edward, the son of Carlisle and Esme, about how he met and snagged Rosalie. He even did the head nod… he is not allowed to Friends ever again.

Yes, we decided that since the doctor was taking care of the victims and now that the authorities and ambulances where here… we were sitting around and talking.

"And she actually went for that?" Edward asked laughing.

"Well, not at first. See, she slapped me for that." Slapped is an understatement. More like beat the crap out of him.

"What did you do to redeem yourself?"

"He went out and bought four dozen roses and I snuck him into her room. The room was completely decorated with them… and when she returned home… from cheerleading practice… and when she went to her room… and nearly had a heart attack."

"Because of the Roses?" Edward asked with a strange expression.

"No… our parents were out of town… and Emmett here, with out my knowledge, was found in her room… naked…" I laughed. "Lets just say I had to leave the house due to all the … noise coming from the room. Apparently she wanted to see how far he would go to get her."

"Wow."

"I know." I stated. "We really should be going… I'm sure that my sister is wondering where her burger is… and his parents are probably calling the police as we speak. It was very nice meeting you."

"It was a pleasure."

x-x-x-x

The Next Morning

Alice POV

I have no idea how he couldn't have seen this when he came home last night… but then again… Jasper doesn't always notice things that are right in front of him… Don't ask me how this is possible… it just is…

Anywhos…

His front door opened and he stepped out in his track uniform. After he turned and spotted me sitting there on his front lawn in the magnificent living room set that Bella, Rose, and I filched from the Stanley lawn.

"Ummm, Allie, I don't have time for this." He said. Just as he said this… the whole track team ran by.

"Jazz, your shorts are exceptionally gold today."

"My mom uses color safe bleach." He answered.

"Go Maria!" I said sarcastically while waving mini invisible flags.

"What is it Alice?" He asked calmly. Something that I have noticed about him… he is always so calm and clear headed… and … he is also very in tune with everyone around him… like there emotions… it's just weird.

"I'm pregnant." I said looking at him.

"What?" Jasper asked. "Pregnant."

"Yeah, it's been known to happen after intercourse, you can Google it." I said.

"I've heard that one before." Jasper laughed. "So what are we going to do?"

"I thought I'd nip it in the bud before it got worse. Cause I heard in health class that pregnancy often leads to an infant."

"Yeah, that's what happens to our moms and teachers." Jasper said.

x-x-x

The Next Day

"All babies want to get borned… All babies want to get borned!" I was heading to Woman Now. Angela Weber was there holding a sign that said that "All babies want to get borned." The same as she was chanting.

"Hi Angela!" I said approaching her.

"Oh, hello Alice." She said shyly.

"Did you get that paper done?" I asked.

"No. I was going to work on it last night but I couldn't concentrate."

"You should try Adderall."

"No thanks. I'm off pills."

"Wise move. I know this girl who had a huge crazy freak out because she took to many behavioral meds at once. She took off her clothes and jumped into the fountain at Ridgedale Mall and was all like, _I'm a Kraken from the sea_!" I pretended to jump into a fountain and rise up like a kraken from the sea.

"I heard that was you." Angela stated.

"Well, it was good seeing you." I started toward the door.

"Your baby has a beating heart! It can feel pain! It has fingernails!"

"Fingernails?" I turned and looked at her. "Really?" and then I entered the building.

"Welcome to Woman Now. Where women are friends. Please keep your hands in vision and surrender any bombs." The girl behind the desk stated.

I raised my hands where she could see them.

"Name please?"

"Alice Swan."

She handed me a clip board and told what to fill out.

"OH! And do you want a free condom." She asked.

"No, I'm off sex right now." I said.

"Are you sure. They smell like cherries. They make my boyfriends junk smell like pie."

I just gave her a nod and walked away. I sat down in a chair and was about to start filling out the paper work when all I heard were the womens nails making all types of nails. I threw down the clip board and ran out of there.

"GOD APPRECIATES YOUR MIRACLE!" Angela yelled as I ran away.

x-x-x-x

Roses house

As I approached Rosalies house she was coming out the door.

"Dude!" She said. "I was supposed to get you at four."

"I couldn't do it, Rose, I couldn't do it."

"what?"

"Angela Weber was there… and she was all like all babies want to be born… and then she tells me that they have fingernails…. FINGERNAILS!"

"Wow… so do you think it will scratch your vag on the way out?"

"Its' not funny rose. I'm keeping the baby."

"Will you be quiet… our parents don't even know where sexually active!" Rose said.

x-x-x

The Swan Residence

I paced up and down in front of my parents and Bella and Rosalie. I had no idea how I was going to say this.

"What is it Allie?" my father asked.

"Did you get expelled?" my mother asked.

"The school would contact you in the event of my expulsion." I answered. Renee wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.

"Do you need a large sum of money? Do you need legal counsil? Just tell us Alice." My father continued.

"It's best if you just tell them." Rose said.

"Yeah I agree." Bella stated.

"I would really appreciate it if no one hits me." I said. "I'm pregnant."

"Oh my god." Renee said. "Well, we will need to get you healthy."

"Who's the kid?" my father asked.

"Well I'm not sure, he hasn't been born yet." I looked down at my stomach.

"NO! The father. Who's the father Alice?"

"Jasper Hale." I said quietly.

"Jasper Hale… I didn't think he had it in him." He chuckled.

"I know right." Bella and Rose laughed.

"Well… what are you going to do?" My father asked.

"I'm considering adoption." I said.

"How about the alternative?" my mother stated.

"No." I said immediately.

"We'll you're a little Viking!" she stated.

"Well let me know if you find a prospective couple… we don't want anyone taking advantage of you." My father said.

"Alright." And then I ran upstairs followed by Rose and Bella.

A/N: I don't own the Twilight Saga or Juno. They belong to Stephenie Meyer and Diablo Cody.


End file.
